Communication Skills Tip: Silence Is Golden When Negotiating
In one of my coaching sessions this week, we were discussing the power of silence when presenting ideas. The conversation spilled over into negotiation and we all agreed that we lose power in our deals, interviews and even daily conversations when we respond to our own proposals. Zig Ziglar (listen to Ziglar's podcast on closing skills) is one of the best known experts on sales and he will tell you “the number one reason people may not buy from you is because they don't trust you." People who talk too much can be hard to trust. Especially at the negotiating table. Maybe it is because it seems that they only have their best interest at heart. Even if they are genuine, the overtalking can raise doubts about what's in it for us. In Lanartco's tip of the week June 3, 2009, I mentioned silence as an important component in our negotiations. Too often we fill those white spaces with fillers, repetition or non-essential information. It takes a conscious effort to follow a full stop with an intentional pause. Yet, it is something we all need to do. Whether you are selling yourself in an interview, selling an idea in the boardroom, or selling a product or service to a customer, try silence after your point to gain confidence from your counterparts and watch your negotiations turn for the better. To be added to Lanartco's Communication Performance Tip of the Week, please connect to this link or send your email address to info@lanartco.com.Labels: Communication Skills Tips
posted by Jill Diamond @ 10:07 AM
13 Comments:
At June 4, 2009 at 2:57 PM ,
tpatricco said...
I agree - a person overtalking can not only be annoying and distracting at times when thinking and concentration on the facts is important, but it often influences how people perceive you if you just keep talking for the sake of talking with nothing valuable to add to the situation.
At June 4, 2009 at 2:57 PM ,
tpatricco said...
I agree - a person overtalking can not only be annoying and distracting at times when thinking and concentration on the facts is important, but it often influences how people perceive you if you just keep talking for the sake of talking with nothing valuable to add to the situation.
At June 4, 2009 at 6:43 PM ,
jdiamond said...
The speaker probably does have value to add to the situation, but it gets lost in the overtalking.
At June 4, 2009 at 11:10 PM ,
Malena said...
Pausing during negotiations yields room to listen. Then, you can honestly say you understand your client and their needs.
At June 5, 2009 at 9:58 AM ,
findingschools said...
Silence is a skill that should be taught during the earliest years of primary school. Instead, children are graded on classroom participation while children who are quiet are overlooked.
It is hard to make the shift in adulthood from overtalking to silence as the vehicle of successful communication.
At June 6, 2009 at 12:43 AM ,
Elaine Steiner said...
The power of Pause and Silence is effective in many conversations and situations...we never seem comfortable using them though!
At June 6, 2009 at 11:42 PM ,
Oded Roz said...
"This tip is very helpful and timely for me after losing 2 potential clients in the last few days. I didn't feel confident enough so I spoke too much and as you wrote in your post, it does not do you good to speak too much. I will take your point into consideration at my next sales meeting and share it with my employees as well."
At June 8, 2009 at 9:48 AM ,
Anonymous said...
Silence is a skill..and it is a need from the highest level. Silence or Intentional Pausing involves active listening to whatever is being said by the other or whatever is in the air between all. Excellent point.
While the silence skill can be easily seen as beneficial in Negotiations (where true $$$ are on the line), it is also important in Leading People, Talking with your Children and Maintaining strong connections with others - e.g. Family and Friends as well as colleagues.
At June 8, 2009 at 11:05 AM ,
Shyam said...
Sometimes overtalking can be dilutive and take away from the fundamentals of the conversation. A pause or full stop gives the audience the time to ponder and absorb what is been said, and to formulate responses and makes for a more engaging and productive conversation. I’ve been in many conversations, where continuously listening to someone talking without a pause or full stop, I’m starting to allow my mind to wander and drown out the noise.
But then maybe that the MO of the overtalking speaker – to distract and confuse the audience and have them quickly nodding in agreement so that the speaker can stop talking!
At June 9, 2009 at 10:00 AM ,
Andre Bello said...
Silence is a powerful negotiation tool. Skilled negotiators recognize that much more time should be spent gathering information, rather than giving information. They spend more than twice as much time listening, testing for understanding, and summarizing the discussion.
At June 9, 2009 at 4:31 PM ,
Jill Diamond said...
I often find it fascinating how much time people spend learning to speak but not to listen.
At June 11, 2009 at 6:36 PM ,
Juan Brea said...
This is something I experience and think about on a daily basis and I agree, silence is very powerful and we be taught very early to practice silence.
At June 14, 2009 at 6:53 PM ,
Kelly Maurice said...
listen deeply, speak deeply.
always, but especially in negotiations!
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