From the Unconscious to the Conscious: A Learning Tip

I have been thinking about the word try lately because every time I try to speak Portuguese, I think to myself continua tentando or keep trying Jill. It's not easy to learn something new when there is limited time to devote to the process. It's also not easy to learn something new when you are a perfectionist--hello, that's me. But, for more than ten years now, I have been thinking about speaking Portuguese. I think about it when people converse with me in Portuguese, when I pick up my livro and thumb through it, and when I imagine myself fluent in the language. But, thinking about it is clearly very different from doing it. Thinking is passive and doing is assertive. So, we come to the word try. Try means to make an effort or to attempt to accomplish something. And it is a very important first step when learning. It is a basic step because there is much further to go than this. But it is an essential measure. One of Lanartco's clients (we'll call him Brian), says it perfectly when he explains the learning process: "The challenge for me is to put in enough practice and move from 'conscious incompetence' to 'unconscious competence'." I love this idea. All these years I have been conscious about my incompetence when it comes to speaking Portuguese. Now, it is time for me to move towards conscious competence and eventually towards the "unconscious competence." It takes a lot of time and intention. Bravo Brian. Thanks for the reminder. To be added to Lanartco's Communication Performance Tip of the Week, please connect to this link or send your email address to info@lanartco.com.

I'm Not In Kansas Anymore

Living between two countries is great. New York has its fabulous pace and ingenuity; Rio has the most gorgeous tropical mountains sitting at the ocean alongside its laid back attitude...

Wait a minute...! New York is not a country...and neither is Rio de Janeiro...

One of the things I've been learning this year is about the differences between Rio, and its rival city, Sao Paulo. The people could not be more different. When I was just traveling to Brazil and not living here part time as I am now, it was harder for me to understand that the communities in these two great cities truly had this antagonism towards each other. But, it's funny. When you get to know people as individuals you can like or dislike the person based on commonality despite where they are “from.” When you look at the culture of a city, however, you have to be very careful. There are small things that will put up flags saying, "She is not a Paulista," or "He is not a Carioca. In Sao Paulo, they greet each other with one kiss while in Rio, they give two. This is easy enough to learn. There is, however, a great deal of subtle communication that the inhabitants of a city collectively expect from us. They may not even know they have assumptions about how outsiders should act, but they will have unconscious presumptions that can make or break the trust-building process. In Rio, people run on their own time. Now, we New Yorkers might think that people from Sao Paulo don't operate on the same clock as we do, but there is clearly a difference between how Rio and Sao Paulo define time as well. I find it helpful to watch how people speak to one another; how they enter or leave a room; and the kinds of subjects that are spoken about in any given conversation. I behave more appropriately once I observe. We all want to find ways to fit in. Whether it is learning to give the right number of kisses in a greeting or to show up at a respectably late time, we have a lot to learn about each other. It's like anything, really. If we adapt to another way of acting, whether it be toward a person, a city or a country, we can gain acceptance more readily which can lead us to new levels of communicating. I've still got a lot to learn and I do remain curious which is good. But, one thing is for sure and that is I'm not in Kansas anymore. To be added to Lanartco's Communication Performance Tip of the Week, please connect to this link or send your email address to info@lanartco.com.

A Smile is Worth a Thousand Words

I did an experiment Monday morning to see how many people, walking alone, were smiling as they were moving down the streets of Manhattan. Some had turned up corners, some had full-on teeth and some gave the return smile--albeit reluctantly. It reminds me of when I was in my late 30's and ready to find a life partner. I decided it would be a good idea to put a smile on my face and take to the streets. I found this completely uncomfortable and slightly inauthentic. But I kept going for weeks until it became natural for me. I found myself helping older people cross the street; I fell into conversations with dog walkers; and I sat at many a-nice restaurant barstools for breakfasts, drinks and dinners. I made a lot of friends. I even found a boyfriend. I now maintain that we can change fundamental behaviors if we pay attention close enough. But more importantly, I learned how one small gesture can turn life on in full color. Smile. I'm sure it will change your mood. To be added to Lanartco's Communication Performance Tip of the Week, please connect to this link or send your email address to info@lanartco.com.

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Where Is Your Focus? Communicating with Impact

I will never forget my first day at my performing arts high school when the teacher asked us to hang upside down from the waist with our eyes closed while imagining a bucket of colored paint (a color of our choosing) being poured over our body for relaxation purposes--naturally, you say! This was one of the many bizarre warm-up exercises we did in acting class. I had some fantastic voice teachers. I remember one man by the name of Michael. He swept out of the school too fast, but left me with an incredible learning opportunity. He taught us about vocal resonance and color. He had such a rich voice. I remember him having outstanding breath support which gave his voice all these overtones from the various vocal registers. Sometimes I think about him when I am explaining the mechanics of the voice to my clients. There are so many elements to focus on when speaking. Think of James Earl Jones in the Bell Atlantic Yellow Page advertisements from years past. That kind of voice may come with natural talent, but you can be sure the added training goes a long way. One of the easiest ways of using your voice well is to focus on intonation, volume, and word length to emphasize key words. To be added to Lanartco's Communication Performance Tip of the Week, please connect to this link or send your email address to info@lanartco.com.