Get Out Of My Head Please

I'm sitting in Portuguese class yesterday and I freeze. Again! What's going on here? Will whatever is inside my head monopolizing my concentration please get out! Easier said than done. I have good days in class and I have bad days. Yesterday was horrific. No patience with myself. No ability to quiet the inner noise. And no understanding of what the other students or my teacher were talking about. What is wrong with me? I'm smarter than that. Right?! I've watched enough students struggle under my tuteladge to know best learning practices. Easier said than done. A couple more days and I will have completed 60 hours of Portuguese classes. I could feel proud, right? I could encourage myself more, no? Fitting it into my busy schedule hasn't been easy. The fact that I put myself in a completely uncomfortable situation could be something I learn from, right? Right! I have learned a lot. I've learned about patience. I've learned about culture. I've learned to pronounce new sounds, words, and structures. And, quite honestly, I am speaking this new language. So, time to kick the chatter out of my head and get to the third stage of listening which is remembering! To be added to Lanartco's Communication Performance Tip of the Week, please connect to this link or send your email address to info@lanartco.com.

Turn that Channel

When I was in acting school, we learned how to channel our nervous energy into concetration. I remember one time I was standing in front of class and I was delivering a monologue with a paper clip in one hand. I was so busy fidgeting with the paper clip that my teacher couldn't focus on anything I was trying to convey. She stopped me mid-way through the speech and instructed me to put the item down and try it again. It was amazing to me how such a simple concept could make such a huge difference in my speaking in the days and years that followed. But, why, I ask myself, has my nervousness gotten the best of me when it comes to my speaking Portuguese? Sure there are days when I come out of my class and feel energized. But it feels there are more days when I am overwhelmed and shaking in my chair when the instructor asks me to speak. Easy for me to tell others what to do about their inhibitions, but when it comes to learning a new language, I can't seem to kick my angst to the curb. Nervousness can be fear, but it can also just be excitement. Performance training has taught me that there has to be some level of buzz when we are presenting ourselves or else we are going to come across flat in our communication. I have come to the conclusion that I must decipher between fear and excitement. Perhaps if I can recognize my nervousness as positive energy, perhaps I'll feel more comfortable tomorrow in my language class. I'll keep you posted. To be added to Lanartco's Communication Performance Tip of the Week, please connect to this link or send your email address to info@lanartco.com.

The Anatomy of Need

We all communicate our needs differently. This became very evident to me on my trip to Casa do Caminho Orphanage on Saturday in Xerém outside of Rio de Janeiro. The personalities at the orphanage were wide. There was the wise guy, Lucas, riding around on his bike skidding up close to everyone's legs. There were the two 17 year old girls chatting demurely before our barbeque about how they wanted to be flight attendants. And then there was Israel, the youngest of the group coming in at 4 years old. He sat next to me at the talent show and kept leaning over to put his head in my lap so I could hold him. He never told me in words what we needed, but it was very clear that he desired affection. At that moment, I realized that how we display our needs is as unique as each individual. What we need and how we get it is personal. Understanding what others need and how they get it takes paying attention. To be added to Lanartco's Communication Performance Tip of the Week, please connect to this link or send your email address to info@lanartco.com.

Stop Holding Your Breath

When I'm afraid, I stop breathing. Well, not totally, but I take shorter breaths. This leads me to become more nervous than I already may be or it encourages me to stop participating in whatever it is I am doing. Yesterday I started a Portuguese class at Casa do Caminho. I was fine when I was taking private lessons. I was chatting away. But, as soon as I got in the group lesson Tuesday, I froze. My whole body tensed up. When the teacher asked me to introduce myself in Portuguese, I couldn't say a word. I could only gesture for her to move on to the next student. Imagine, me, the communication expert, unable to say anything. Even without speaking, you can be sure that the other students knew exactly what I was feeling. The way I was holding my breath and keeping still created a freezer in my corner of the room. And I could feel the whole room go numb with me. How empathetic! (See tips for empathy for leaders.) But, no, actually, how pathetic. If only I had paid attention to my respiration more closely, I could have gotten myself out of that bind. I have studied the mechanics of the voice long enough to know that if I had taken three or four deep breaths, I would have begun to relax and ultimately participate. It wasn't until this morning's class that I finally calmed down and joined the group. Sigh! To be added to Lanartco's Communication Performance Tip of the Week, please connect to this link or send your email address to info@lanartco.com.