The Whole Truth And Nothing But The Truth

You know when your kid isn't telling the truth, right? He doesn't look you in the eyes, she fidgets, or he gets super defensive pointing his fingers in a million directions. But have you ever noticed what she does with her voice? It probably goes higher than usual. That's because the high tones in our voice indicate surprise, fear, excitement and general emotional intensity. All of these things are happening on an unconscious level when our children are fibbing. During my acting days, I remember how clearly honesty came through in my fellow actors' work. Not only did the voice not match the body type, but the vocal choices being made were disconnected from their interpretation of the communication. By studying the meaning of pitch variation, I've learned when someone is connected vocally to what they are saying and when they are tossing words around like pizza dough. It's not necessarily easy to build awareness without training, but see if you can pay closer attention to the range of intonation someone (your child, for example) is using when you think they may not be telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth. To be added to Lanartco's Communication Performance Tip of the Week, please connect to this link or send your email address to info@lanartco.com.

Silence Please

I lost my cool today with one of my contractors. I felt that my integrity was being questioned and after several minutes of listening to her comments, I had to jump in and say my part. Things escalated and...boom...we were in the middle of a heated discussion. Not good. As a professional, I know it is all about "keeping it cool." But, sometimes, it is hard to do, don't you think? It's like when couples spat, it is either with big words and loud voices or silence. Sure, there is the in-between places where the couple isn't sure how they want to behave, but for the most part it's loud and ugly or quiet and frustrating. Well today, I had one of those loud and ugly conversations and I wasn't proud of it when we finished our call. When things are unsettling in communication, it seems easy to run at the mouth or just assume that our position is correct without any real reflection. But, silence offfers that opportunity to go deeper into the communication and deeper into ourselves. Being that I've always looked for ways to learn about myself and I've considered myself to be a self-aware human being, I took some time after my morning conversation to reflect on what caused me to react instead of respond. It has everything to do with my surroundings, recent events, my mood, when I last ate a meal of substance, etc. Communication is so multi-faceted. I know that using the space of quiet helps me to improve my skills. To be added to Lanartco's Communication Performance Tip of the Week, please connect to this link or send your email address to info@lanartco.com.